A Meme A Day
by VictoriousNagini
Summary: The Doctor tries his fightin' hand at a Meme, while a snickering Rose tags her friends. Let the mocking ensue.
1. Chapter 1

**Pairings**: Ten/Rose, mentions of Donna, Martha, Jack, 'Lady' Christina, Jackie, and Ianto. *sigh*

**Rating:** PG {once again…implied—Oh. Right. There isn't any. Hardly any. Well, one slightly bored, exaggerating, but amused, Time Lord. And a non-blackmailing Rose.}

**Words:** 6,128 {All three chapters}

**Spoilers:** None. AU for the umpteenth time and after JE where Rose was never shipped off to that wretched….anyway, there it is. Let it also be known that Donna realizes more than she should. I'm afraid there's no 'eyebrow wiggling' either, so you'll just have to imagine some.

**Disclaimer:** Did you see that Cat flying yesterday? Neither did I.

**Feedback:** Respectfully welcomed.

**A/N:** The crack has roared its ugly head once more and is taking no prisoners. Villagers be damned as you were warned.

*Ahem* Okay, so half the fic might contain a TOUCH of crack, as I'm actually beginning to think I inhaled too many fumes somewhere whilst writing this. Still think you have a right to remain silent since I didn't have time to put on my safety goggles and slow the excessive force of damage. I'm fairly sure I could've used better questions, but this came to me so fast that I wrote whatever popped in first. There's also an underlining secret in this story, which I'm sure you will figure out in the second chapter (if not…well, sorry), but it's very quick. And one reference is slightly canon, so if you're a pretty serious fan (or a fan of just David in general, lol) you'll hopefully catch it. BTW, I'm sure Billie has a nice singing voice, maybe not fantastic, but nice. However, I am sorry if I offended thee, it was all in good fun. The Doctor's username is withheld on purpose at the beginning of the fic. Anyways...R&amp;R would be appericated. ;)

Thanks &amp; Enjoy. (The full version is on my Livejournal page, along with the icons I made for this fic.)xx

**Ganked this from someone who deserves to be ganked once in a while! And this is one of those times. Just had to repost the cheesy goodness for my own selfish benefits.**

**I'm guessing He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named thought I wouldn't find out…ME!? Well you guessed wrong. I mean, why do 'they' think I take such long 'showers'? Lol. Don't forget to click the cut!**

**("But it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.")**

_Earlier_…

"Rose! Are you done yet?"

He assumed it all started out innocently enough, with the Doctor dashing down the corridor and knocking on best friend's bedroom door. He had so much to tell her! Well, theoretically only one thing to tell her, either way, it seemed important sufficiently for a lot of things. While checking coordinates and setting the correct dates he'd grown tired of waiting for Rose to finish her shower and logged into his Livejournal account and posted an unfinished Meme he snagged from a friend in London last week because they'd turned out to be good for a boring wait like this, or a laugh at how absurd half those questions were—exactly what the person who created the Meme did with the information left the Doctor refusing to dwell on any sort of speculation for long and besides, it wasn't like they ACTUALLY knew him as a Time Lord literally. This is what he kept telling himself despite the rising suspicion. The Doctor never found the implication behind why humans thought spreading your most personal information over thousands of networks across the world is considered 'fun', but he figured it it couldn't hurt to join in just this once.

He doubted she knew what Livejournal was anyway and thought it would be something he could trust her not to satirize, not to mention he could hardly believe half the stuff those self-proclaimed 'fangirls' of his got into, he knew he was worldly renowned throughout history but this was ridiculous! Judging from the grammar and time frame on some of the posts he'd seen, most of them should either stand trial for frequent vulgar comments about his anatomy or seek bed rest for months at a time. Period. At any rate, here he sat perched on the edge of her fluffy comforter in her pink-from-floor-to-ceiling room after sensing she continued to occupy the single space humans seemed to need most, the bathroom. Or the ever underrated 'en suite'. But alas…

Why did women need to take so bloody long in the bathroom? And why did they almost always go in groups on an outing? Is it some sort of hereditary thing?

As he suppressed yet another wary sigh, his eyes spot something sitting in the far corner on her desk by the en suite that can perhaps make the waiting bearable again. He could have easily brought up the site in the console room, but since that was a long and dull 10-minute walk away, and her Laptop is already convenient placed upon her desk... Slowly treading over, and keeping an ear out for her despicable singing of some top 40 hit to stop, he slid into the matching chair and tapped the spacebar—he'd just take a quick peek around the site before she returned from her daily sanitation regiment and be none the wiser. Since the Doctor had been in her room dozens of times to tinker with a new gadget or talk about some random nonsense he doubted she would get upset if she came out early. Hmm, a password was needed. He hadn't thought of that. Shrugging and thinking it couldn't possibly be hard to manage, this is Rose we're talking about, he typed in the first thing that came to mind.

Bugger.

The word 'Petals' resulted in an error message, which stated he had only two more tries left before getting locked out completely. Well, there is another word he could try…no. It couldn't possibly work. She wouldn't dare hold it against him still and it's too much of a stretch anyway, yeah?

Yeah.

He supposed it would come to this some day.

Typing in a name that brought back an incident he sometimes regretted not following through, if Rose's dejected look was anything to go by, the desktop finally sprang into view. Her background consisted of some graphic showing Dr. Horrible and Evil Horse standing side by side in the middle of a corrupted city strangely resembling that of Gotham—though he could see a more than slightly deranged Batman tied to a water tower while a sane Joker tried to cut Captain Hammer free. Meanwhile, a fierce-looking Penny stood in front of Dr. Horrible victoriously and held up a lighting-charged sword pointed towards a darkening sky. The Doctor shook his head sadly and didn't think Arthur, faithful Horse he was—bless him, would appreciate this very much, but here we are. The Doctor had to admit; he was right keen to use this for the console's viewscreen. He always knew Rose had good taste in Wallpaper, if not in men.

Wait.

None of that matter anyway. He logged on to his account and found he'd become 'tagged' in a different Meme along with four other people by someone he didn't know personally, though added them as a friend because their profile had 'serious companion material' written all over it. The Doctor opened the post and saw it was a rather long one, if not interesting nonetheless.

"Well, this should be tricky. Lucky thing I'm gifted with infinite cleverness." He stated quietly while posting the Meme to his own journal and filled in the questions. Maybe he would forward this on to Sarah Jane. Now hers was a certifiable scientific blog if his name isn't Theta. And it wasn't. Screw what the Master may have thought. Unfortunate name calling during his younger years aside, over his dead body would he tell Rose squat about said blog existing. Otherwise he'd never get a word in!

Tbc

A/N: Super reluctant to post, it didn't seem as if I could pull it together. But the other chapters have been finished for a while…and are hopefully funny enough to someone. :P


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** The writing in Italic is what the Doctor is reading by the OP of the meme. I tried to make it read out like a meme on Livejournal that the Doctor would answer as much as possible, but if it's too confusing, I can always take it down and maybe revise it.

* * *

_From defenderofcupcakes_

_Let's start off with tagging five people, copy and post this in your journal, and comment in the OP until I get to at least fifteen. I will then give the first ten any prompt they PM me now. The rest will have to wait until I come back from holiday!_

"Holiday my arse…" the Doctor mumbled as he scanned over the questions. Everything seemed to have turned out fairly well, if he did say so.

* * *

Appearance &amp; Opinions

**Name** – Nunyadambizness. But most call me Doc.

**Occupation** – Traveler. I love to see the stars.

**Age** – Somewhere between Albus Dumbledore and Bilbo Baggins. You didn't see me write that.

**Eye color** – Brown. Like a badass muffin.

**Hair color** – Same.

**Location ****– **Rose's shockingly pink bedroom.

**If you could change one thing about your attire, what would it be and why?**

Absolutely nothing! Prime Rib at its finest. I'm an original who refuses to die a copy.

**Do you have low self-esteem?**

Not really, no. Although a certain someone might in fact say different—'my ego is as big as a planet' doesn't mean anything, I'll still call it CLASS.

**Are you judgmental?**

Nope. Unless of course you are hell bent on killing the general public—and that logic applies to Rose, too. Despite those, _Let Your Freak Flag Fly_, I always say…actually I don't really say that. I just like to think I do. That sentence was pretty gratuitous wasn't it?

**Are you insecure?** Quite the redundant little thing.

**Gay/Straight/Bi/Don't care?** Been chatting with Jack, have you? Well, things are taken out of context enough when it comes to me, and I'd rather disclose this topic and get on with the rest. Why humans—er, people…(heh, there I go again) insist on labeling matters like this, I will never comprehend.

**How do you react when you are nervous?** ….Nervous? I know none of which you speak.

**What do you love most right now?** Rose Tyler. But then she isn't a 'what' so I hope she doesn't see this…oh! And chocolate covered banana flavored cupcakes (because most things taste better Banana-fied), topped off with edible ball bearings. Yum. Jackie makes a brilliant cupcake; I'll give her that. Again, you didn't see me write a thing.

**Ever broken a bone?**

Almost happened last week when I caught Ianto reading Jack's sacred diary—er, Journal. Nearly went into a full sprawl down those blasted stairs trying to haul it away from him, I did. Otherwise, no. Well, save that one time on…

**Pets? **

None, thankfully. My allergies kick up a right fuss around cats especially. Ahem. I have noticed Rose hinting for over a week now that a puppy would do some good and help teach us to manage our responsibility. I for one am appalled and disagree entirely with these circumstances _and_ thinks we are fine as is. I'm not too partial to sharing at the moment and usually only when it suits me.

**Any Kids?**

No no no. No…. wait, did Jackie mention something to you about grandchildren? If she ever does, run. But I suppose if we wanted them enough together, erm, did I just say 'we'? By 'we' I meant me. Heh. Those damn typos, annoying if nothing else.

**Biggest event(s) in your life at the present moment?**

Yes! Rose and I are going to this plan—place called Barcelona. For dinner, you know. It'll be nice to get out of the uh, house, as it were. I heard they have fantastic dancing and food, and they serve Lobster with a side order of extra chips and viniger if you ask.

**Do you like any chores?**

What kind of a question is…? Well, obviously one deserving of a stupid answer. So yes, I like cleaning toilets and such. I'm also very fond of those dirty dishes in the sink, which 'someone' mistakenly 'forgets' the night before. Oh you wouldn't believe. Just the same as everyone else, la de da…

What do you do?

(**OP:** Should read 'What do you do in your spare time'. Not exactly correct, but we've winged it so far.)

**Do you think you daydream too much?**

I don't need to 'daydream'. My greatest fantasies have, whether I wanted them to or not, become my everyday reality. 'Cause I got it like that.

(P.S. – Sarah Jane has made me promise to never utter those last lines again, and thus, I have much obliged. P.S.S – Also, Jack has made his point of saying I've been spending too much time in America being peculiarly lazy whilst eating Bon Bons and it is seriously rubbing off on me in more ways than one. That said I do apologize in advance.)

**Do you exercise often?**

Plenty. Why do you think I'm holding this laptop with one hand while doing push ups? Ripped, I tell you, I am ripped… (Fine. A man can tell a little white lie every now and then, yeah? Let's just chalk it up to 'I'm doing pretty damn well' in the exercise department.)

**What kind of car do you drive? **

…Pass.

You can pass, right? Yes, I'm almost sure of it… either way, I'm going to. :P

**Do you like doing stuff with your family?**

I've done some things with Rose's family I am NEVER going to be proud of, and a few of those things are nice but as a rule I don't do 'domestics'. I tend to draw the line at Truth or Dare. Once you've played a 'Family Night' game with the Tyler's, life can only get easier from there…

**Where do you go on holiday?**

Oh…you know. Around. Usually stick to shops out of town, or taking friends to dinner someplace they've never been if the mood strikes.

Random

**If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go: **

Weeell, I've essentially been… everywhere but er, Paris. Yes, I wouldn't mind Paris. Lovely. Safe. Paris.

**If I were an animal I'd be: **

Why become an animal when you humans—I mean, whoops! Jump the gun there, didn't I? I meant to say I'd go with an Eagle. Because I like birds even though they are a bit 'flighty', no pun intended. Then if something ever happen to transportation or god forbid my legs, I could still be a pilot of my own ship. So to speak.

**I don't generally understand: **

Very little. I'll make an exception for Cheese. Just what in Rasslion's pants goes into all those different Cheeses?

**A night at my house would be: **

Epic. Jack and those other bitches be crazy—oh the table dancing was magnificent! Who knew a Llama could reach such heights? But seeing as I don't really own one, you're shit out of luck mate.

**My gripe at the moment is: **

The usual, save the world when all hell breaks loose (What is it with Alien colonies invading Earth? Must be the water). Run from enemies when my plans backfire and I can't charm myself or Rose out of it. Long lines at Starbucks. Life hardly fails to keep me entertained.

**If you could live anywhere, where would it be? **

I'd live in a book for a while. Preferably something by Edgar Allen Poe, always a mystery with that sort.

**Any trouble with the Law: **

Ha. No. On Rasslion's saggy left… You're smart, I'm sure, and you basically get the idea, so therefore I won't bother finishing the sentence. Tsk tsk. You must have misunderstood my whole existence.

**Break anything recently you weren't supposed to: **

Excellent question! ...Or not. Since I broke my first sonic, prototype really, into ity bity pieces. No matter what anyone who was present there that day said, I was NOT bawling like a second grader. Nor did I technically mean to throw a large object at the TARDIS' wall. It just appeared there and things proceeded to happen. End of story.

Last words

**Last Road Trip:**

Jack, Ianto, Ew-wen, Gwen, and I took a trip to Cardiff on the account of business. Anyway, we all ate pizza with extra onions and no one thought to bring any sweets afterward, I'm afraid. This is when stuff turned a bit…argumentative, to put it adequately.

**Last Good Advice: **

Never have a row with Gwen when she's nibbling on doughnuts. The woman has a mean left hook and it WILL take you by surprise. Trust me, I'm a Doctor. :)

**Last TV show I watched: **

Caught up on some Misfits, Kelly is our favorite and reeks of 'win' by the way, with Rose the other day while munching on buttery popcorn goodness. Not a bad go for the evening, I'll admit.

**Last Book I read: **

I find my sympathy shuts down a full five minutes after reading anything by V.C. Andrews. But I have enjoyed re-reading the Great Gatsby.

**New Word (s) Added to Your Vocabulary: **

Nargles. Forgotten where I heard it now, but it sounds very catchy! I may start calling Jack that. Since he has this strange fetish recently for Oreos…

**Last T Shirt Acquired: **

A very fitted black Armani suit Ianto suggested I try on for size… Not a T-shirt, but I like to think I definitely look quite good in it and I wasn't about to take that challenge lying down. Once more, no pun intended.

**Last Web site visited: **

A site about knitting called 'YarnBarn'. Hey, it's a hobby I find relaxing. I've already knitted everyone socks and mittens for Christmas—OK. Am seeing now how that could be a tad weird.

**Last fight you had: **

I won. ;)

**Last Thing That Made You Laugh: **

When Jack popped in for a visit yesterday, we had a 'who can stand the longest on their heads' contest and the winner got the last Twinky in the cupboard. Which someone (not me of course) appeared to have placed there some time ago. Was I telling him that? Nope. Needless to say, I'm a winner—with my superior Time Lord skills leaving a certain 'Captain' vulnerable. Part of it tasted like earwax, sure, but who's to say I won't need to compare all this information for future use?

**Last thought: **

Too many to name!

**Any lasting impressions: **

Yes. I didn't know Rose could sing a pop song so well… while still managing to sound a bit like Arthur.

There we have it, folks.

Song: DJ Snake &amp; Lil Jon - Turn It Down For What (It was already on. I swear. Cars' Good Times Roll? Better than this rubbish. :D)

Mood: Dying of Boredom

Location: Somewhere multidimensional.

xxx

**A/N:** Want to know if Rose caught on to his mischievous little meme? And just what would his former companions have to say if they knew? Read on, dear Whovians.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Really reluctant to post, butenjoy the part that is three…all right, all right. I'm done. The banter in this fic is so cheesy it's pathetic. I also have no idea if Rose would rock Neon colors, but let's just roll with it.

* * *

_Later..._

Rose finished towel drying her hair and sauntered back into her room, thankfully, wearing another towel matching the neon yellow one wrapped on her head. She was stunned to see the Doctor sitting at her desk and using her Laptop.

"Oh my God, you didn't!"

The Doctor took off his notorious sleek specs and placed them on the desk, resisting the urge to ever believe she surprised him enough to physically make him jump. A little. "Didn't what?"

"With my Laptop, I see." She stifled a laugh at startling him while he was typing like mad—there were some moments in life that just screamed for a camera. "Uh, nothing. S' what've you got there?"

The Doctor shifted the computer so she could see the screen better. Rose pretended to look unimpressed.

"You've found something worthy of your attention, huh?"

He snorted. "Yes, well, I was tagged by someone named 'defender of cupcakes'. Figured I ought to give it go."

She laughed at this. Hard. She never dreamed she would witness him using any form of social media!

He crossed his arms, a bit irritated at being interrupted. "What? Oh, I forgot, you probably don't know what tagging means."

"No. Nothing. It's…nothing, just a silly name I guess." She said before breaking into another fit of giggles.

"Seriously, Rose. What?" He was starting to laugh himself; contagious as it is whenever they got on like this.

"You do Memes occasionally or are you usually this involved with 'The People of Earth' during our downtime?" She asked, tongue poking out mischievously between teeth.

"Um, not always but—hang on. You, Rose Marion Tyler, know about Memes?"

She flinched at his use of her middle name. Sometimes she really could throttle her mother, playfully of course. Those Tyler tempers ran cold. _Ice_ cold.

"Yeah, for a while now. Yesterday I tagged some bloke named 'Original Gangsta Who'; I reckon he seemed pretty desperate given his ridiculous name and rantings of politics, coupled with several quotations of Dickens on his profile. Decided to take the Mickey out of 'em."

The Doctor visibly grimaced at this though made no effort to object. Rose thought that was odd even for him but continued anyway, she didn't want to make him feel worse since she'd already stuck her foot in her mouth.

"Hmm. _Original Gangsta Who_?"

"Yep." He nodded dubiously, popping the 'p' in his usual manner.

"I really didn't mean to tag you, s' not like I knew it was… you."

"Its okay, Rose." He said this considerately. No one spoke after a few minutes and Rose started to dry her hair until his almighty smirk broke the akawardness threatening to take over.

"Defender of Cupcakes? I know you've been a bit distracted by my brilliancy lately, but I would've thought you'd take a more creative route!" He snickered, just barely containing his laughter.

She slapped his arm whilst failing to keep a straight face. "Oi! You're one to talk."

His eyes met hers. "In all seriousness, I set this to 'friends only' but you aren't going to…you know…forward this to anyone, are you? No one else knows about this?"

"Oh no, I made sure of it. You can trust me Doctor," She smiled. Although the Doctor could tell there was more to this 'smile' then she let on. "You did however, make fun of my name."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you. You have to admit; it is rather a ridiculous name and you did insult mine first so therefore—" The Doctor's lopsided grin faded once he noticed the statue-like expression on her face.

A few seconds later and her smile hadn't faltered.

"Rose?"

Steady as she goes.

"Rose, are you feeling ill?"

He was beginning to get very worried now. He got up from the chair and crossed over to the bed, snapping his fingers in front of her face a few times. He focused his attention mainly on her face, searching for any signs of fainting, but she stared fixatedly at nothing behind him. _What if it turned out she did have that virus going around back on planet __Argolis__ and it just went into effect? The __Argolins assured us no harm would come to humans, and it certainly doesn't affect Time Lords—much too weak to even enter the bloodstream, but they could easily have said that as to not start a rise among their people._

He smacked his forehead with the one hand that wasn't placed on her shoulder. _I am so bloody unbelievably thick! Thick thick thick!_

"Listen to me Rose; you need to take a deep breath and count aloud to fifty. We're going to get you to med bay, I knew I shouldn't have taken you so far away from the TARDIS and she warned us as well, knowing full well humans can't adjust to every environment regardless if nothing surfaces until later. I'm completely stupid and—why are you laughing?" The Doctor deadpanned, brow set furrowed in deep concentration.

Rose couldn't hold it in any longer when his face went deadly serious. Almost to the point of being _comical_. The look in his eyes changed from worried to relief and she realized he must have been on the brink of carrying her to the med bay. "Sorry, I was only joking Doctor. I'm fine. Honest!"

"Funny. Really. I thought you were actually ill!"

"That's what you get for using my Laptop without permission!"

"Thanks Rose. A lot. Not that you had me sick with worry, no."

"You didn't even see me trying to hold back." She put a hand to her mouth, still giggling. The Doctor had his arms crossed and was all but pouting now, dileberatingly avoiding her teasing gaze by tracing lines on the bedspread. "Anyway, I wonder if we're still going to…bugger, what's that place called? Barlena?"

"Ah ha! I knew you couldn't resist dogs with no noses, who could? It's _Barcelona_." He said, rocking back and forth excitedly on his heels.

Apparently she was forgiven.

Rose was very perplexed at this point though, _how the hell did they even breathe? _She thought, not really sure she wanted the answer to that. Knowing the Doctor would probably confirm her question sooner or later once they got to Barcelona. "Yeah, but don't they—"

"Nope! Save your questions for when we land. In fact, I better go set those dates. Least we end up on another Planet like Griffoth throwing a Gingerbread Day festival. I didn't want to know their 'cooking' habits. In fact, I made a serious mistake in indulging—"

"No! You vowed to never mention it again." He noted that she sounded utterly horrified, maybe he underestemated the tramatizing effect it had on her. "You also promised my eyebrows would grow back correctly. I've got one half drawn on with eyeliner and the other side is arched almost mid-way to my forehead. It's starting to look a right mess!"

"I know, I know. It's really only as bad as you think. Come on, how was I supposed to gather they were telling the truth about having a room full of candles that walked wherever you needed light and sensed when you didn't? Or that one could possibly follow you back to the TARDIS' Library. Oblivious of any wrong doing and attaching itself to your shirt." The Doctor finished resolutely but had the decency to look a little sheepish, usually reserved for moments when she saw right through his defenses.

"Must've been the perfume." Rose resorted; a bit dismayed.

"By all accounts it was most likely the body heat, and if it makes you feel any better," He grabbed her hand as if spilling some grave news would make her run off. "The TARDIS mentioned, in passing, that she would happily loan you hers until yours grew back fully."

Seconds went by as they both stared at each other.

"Not amused, thanks." She finally stated drearily, giving him a condescendingly flat stare and igniting them into the throes of laughter once more.

"Doubt that'll happen again, though." Said a chuckling Doctor, if he knew he'd get this much joy out of a simple Meme in one day, he would've told her ages ago. "Anyway, hurry up getting dressed Rose. Allon-sy!" He grinned excitedly at her from the doorway before jogging back towards the console room.

Rose winked and started planning her outfit for this particular planet. From what she'd heard the Doctor say, or rather what she was able to catch; Barcelona consisted of a warm atmosphere. They had been visiting a lot of cold planets lately and the short blue dress collecting dust in her closet would have to do. _And not just for the Doctor's sake_, she thought while smirking to herself—if she'd known he would print her name so many times in some stupid Meme sent by a person who only answered to the name Jenny out of admiration, well… she would've set her journal to only 'private' and wrote to her heart's content.

Strapping on heels with a flowery pattern her mother insisted she wear whenever they went shopping for a bridesmaid dress, she also liked to think her mother was indeed setting her daughter up with subtle hints but had yet to prove anything when her train of thought derailed after she saw what the Doctor wrote on the last question.

She was going to kill him.

"What a tic, Doctor! Why does the last one say I sing like a horse?"

The Doctor flinched inwardly when he heard Rose yelling from her room and knew he was in for a long day of explaining, possibly painful from the edge in her voice.

All the more reason to distract her with chocolate.

"Uh, well. Rose? You'll never guess what I picked especially for you the other day…Now if you will only calm down and think about this rationally, I'm sure you'll see in time we just got a few lines crossed!"

xxxx


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Sorry about the late update (its the last chapter but still), been busy and tbh I didn't think anyone was still interested in this story, 'crackiness' and all. Hopefully my usernames aren't too crappy, lol. Can you guess which one is Ianto before the end?

* * *

**_Eversoplucky_**

_Well, seems like spaceman has finally bit the big one. At least I have the decency to lie when it is so obviously needed._

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_That's telling 'em. He gave it the old 'collage try' though. :D_

* * *

_**ispywithanironfist**_

_Clever man. Although, I have heard that Jack can make an Oreo work in more ways than one, preferably seven, and not just by using the filling._

_*full smirk mode right now*_

_**defenderofcupcakes**_

_I've been one of the lucky few to be on the receiving end of THAT and let me tell you…His username should be inducted._

* * *

_**marthamayi**_

_Completely. Mad._

**_defenderofcupcakes_**

_Yet, we still love him. Forever recognized as 'The Alien and His Women'._

_**marthamayi**_

_Shame. We could save the world on our own, grab a cuppa, and he would still manage to get credit. Why do we continue to put ourselves through it?_

_**defenderofcupcakes**_

_Comes with the job of being brilliant, hon. If I didn't know better, Miss Jones, I'd say you were bitter…Jealous even?_

_**marthamayi**_

_Neither, so don't panic. ;) Am a bit peeved though when I found most of my clothes (and undergarments) sitting pleasantly frozen in my fridge when I came home the other night. Apparently the boys decided a sleepover of sorts was due at my flat since I forgot our dear Jack's birthday surprise party was going to be held at my place last week._

**_defenderofcupcakes_**

_Ouch. I know Combat Jones didn't take this laying down, yeah? Surely we taught you better!_

_**Marthamayi**_

_Oh, is that what we've deemed my existence now? Lolz._

_You wouldn't believe the expressions on Jack and the Doctor's face when they realized Jalapeño Hot Sauce was added to their morning cup of coffee. Poor Jack has yet to move his makeshift bed from beside the bathroom!_

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_OMG, score one for team Pink! *virtual High five*_

_**Marthamayi**_

_Just how we roll. *Returns high five*_

_**Hesamagicman**_

_Laugh it up, ladies, but rest assured when my stomach is feeling better I WILL be kicking ass and taking names come Monopoly night. Nice Meme though, Rosey._

_**Originalgangstawho**_

_Thought someone said they weren't going to post this, hmm? Cheeky._

_Btw Jack, how do you know about Jenny? :/_

_**Hesamagicman**_

_Uh, who? I don't know anyone by that name. I must say, Doc, you are getting along in the years old boy._

_**Originalgangstawho**_

_Too bad you're all talk, egg man. I'm waiting for your grand explanation, Rose._

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_Er, Martha is a bad influence on me. Yeah Jack, and how come you changed your pic and deleted the first one…? :)_

_**Hesamagicman**_

_I believe it after last night, her face was murderous. Hey listen, I'll catch up with you guys later, I think Ianto just burned Gwen's noodles and I can't wait to see him get grilled!_

_Xx_

* * *

_**Marthamayi**_

_Throw 'newly single and desperate' old Martha under the bus. She won't mind. Sure._

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_Now Jones, you haven't forgotten what our yoga instructor told you? Take extra care on that psyche girly!_

_**Marthamayi**_

_Trust me, I've done the maths. And the verdict is official…_

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_A holiday from men! Lol._

* * *

_**Prettyboyfloyd**_

_Ya'll need to check ya'll selves…OK, that's clearly enough Housewives of Atlanta for me tonight. Anyway, splendid Meme Rose, been thinking of starting my own since Captain I'm-Being-An-Arse over there wants nothing to do with anything involving actual fun at the moment._

_**Hesamagicman**_

_Haters gonna hate. But I still love you. ;*_

_**Prettyboyfloyd**_

_Psh. No Oreos for you tonight._

_**Hesamagicman**_

_*Is officially and finally dead thanks to Ianto being very cross and withholding everything good about life.*_

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_Haha! You two need a room._ :P

* * *

_**theboldandthebeautiful**_

_Those are the most ridiculous answers; right daft though, innit he? I suppose he'll manage one day, not easy being with an entirely different race even for this long. I should try those Meme thingies out on Pete—bet he'd fair well._

_**Originalgangstawho**_

_Leave it to you to insult my intelligence and pity me at the same time. Brava._

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_Mum, that's the pic you chose? Why? It's seriously old!_

_**theboldandthebeautiful**_

_Shut it, my daughter looked adorable…before she went 'defender' on us unsuspecting lot._

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_Well nobody else would, too lazy to bother anyway. There are worlds out there, mum, occupied by beings who are sometimes just like us! Couldn't very well sit around eating curry and having a kip watching Earth and other planets get destroyed could I?_

_You were kidding about that whole 'grandkids' thing, you didn't actually scare 'em off?_

_**theboldandthebeautiful**_

_Gotten quite tetchy, you have! And yes I want grandchildren! Who knows, sweetheart, when I see you next you might be fifty. Just maybe not with him, yeah? Those 'Alien' bits of his are probably genetic. All of London would talk if little 'Timmy' or 'Julie' showed up at kindergarten one day glowing. Look a right and proper mess, it would._

_**Originalgangstawho**_

_Oi! No going on about my anatomy, the rest of these comments look bizarre enough as it is. You don't need to worry about any 'glowing' Jackie; besides, my 'bits' are where they should be._

_*facepalm*_

_If I ever utter those words again, Rose, promise me you'll thunk me over the head with a strong piece of wood. But not any wood, please, because they DO harbor rusty nails. Eck. The mental images are not pretty. And Timmy? JULIE? Such awful names! Entirely too common for one. I'd have the right to give my children dignified names, at least._

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_*snicker* Oh stop being such a girl. As if 'Theta' sounds like a dignified name._

_**Originalgangstawho**_

_How the hell did you **know** about **that?** How do you know about any of the things you aren't supposed to?! o.o_

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_Tsk. Tsk. A woman never reveals allll her secrets._

* * *

_**Theboldandthebeautiful**_

_Honestly, more and more like him everyday! Remember what I said what happens when I'm not here anymore? Heed. My. Warning._

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_I take it you're done, then?_

_**Theboldandthebeautiful**_

_For now. You'll be hearing loads from Pete and me when you come round for holiday about taking better care on your safety._

_**Originalgangstawho**_

_Believe me for the thousandth time when I say: I. Will. Not. Put. Your. Daughter. In. Danger._

_Deliberately._

_**Theboldandthebeautiful**_

_So he says._

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_Mmhm, let's hope you have my Shepard's Pie handy._

_**Theboldandthebeautiful**_

_Of course, you think I don't know how to keep my daughter from running out the moment we sit down?_

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_Right, mum. Because I don't hear your voice in my head enough._

_**Theboldandthebeautiful**_

_All right, I get the hint. Just remember to phone ahead next time sweetheart. Nearly gave poor Pete a heart attack and scared the bejesus out of Tony sneaking in the middle of the night yesterday, you did._

_**Originalgangstawho**_

_Really, we weren't trying to 'sneak in' Jackie. Pete says even Tony thought it was cool when I gave him the mini sonic by way of apology. And I resent that comment, Rose._

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_You were!_

_**Originalgangstawho**_

_I beg to differ. Since I still haven't forgiven you for posting this._

_**Defenderofcupcakes**_

_*sigh*_

_If it makes you happy I'll be sure to put a word in to Donna and bring Pippin back to her party next weekend._

_**Originalgangstawho**_

_…Fine. Who could say no to a table-dancing Llama?_

* * *

**A/N 2:** Well, that was completely non-believable, lol... So here's a little explanation behind some of the names, if you didn't want one…well, too bad, skip it. In case you were wondering, I added breaks after each conversation so as not to have just one long stream of comments and not knowing who Rose has replied to. Sorry if it's confusing but it was somewhat difficult to get close to LJ's proper format. You know, without the icons and links and all that jazz.}

**hesamagicman** – I figured at some point in his lonely and extravagant existence, Jack would indeed end up listening to a song by Heart. And loving it.

**eversoplucky** – Don't think I need to say it, actually.

**marthamayi** – 'Mother May I Sleep with'... Yeah, I went there. Yeah, it was also one of those days.

**ispywithanironfist** – I picked Christina because she's resourceful, clever, and able to look danger in the face when the time calls. How I wish she could've stayed as a companion for a little while.

**theboldandthebeautiful**– Clearly, our favorite 'in-law' has watched one too many soaps while waiting for visits from her daughter and went slightly unhinged at some point during her rising of a boy.

**prettyboyfloyd** – I think Ianto deserves his far share of 'shining moment' as much as the rest of them.


End file.
